Hope You Saved Room For Dessert

Get ready for one sweet blog. (See what I did there?)

I'll be honest, I haven't tried all the Czech desserts yet-- which is very strange considering I'll eat anything if someone sprinkles sugar on it. But Czech desserts are like nothing you'll find back in America. There's tons to choose from and they use some pleasantly surprising ingredients; definitely worth trying out. And hey, if you don't like them, then there's always good ol' zmrzlina.

Osm kopečky, prosím!

Most Czech desserts revolve around three things: sugar, fruit and starch. For instance:

Ovocné Knedlíky (oh-votz-nay kned-lee-kee)
Fruit-filled dumplings. Yes! You can have dumplings for dinner AND dessert! Just know that there's a  strictly enforced bring-your-own-wheelchair policy so you're able to leave the restaurant. You can bank on these being filled with some sort of berry, like blueberries or strawberries, though I don't think apple is unheard of. I tried these during the first week of my stay here, after nomming hardcore on my first-ever smažený sýr. Every part of my body kept begging me not to take another bite-- but my tastebuds overruled.

Koláče (ko-lot-chay)
There's a million variations of this, including the name (I wasn't quite sure which one would yield the best Google Image results). This reminded me a lot of a danish when I tried it. It's a flat roll made out of a sweet dough, and on top is some variety of fruit/jam-y stuff, some kind of sweet cream cheese, and poppy seeds mixed into a type of sugary paste. You can find poppy seeds in a lot of Czech dishes (such as pasta with olive oil and poppy seeds... I may have to try it). They work very nicely on the koláče to counterbalance the tart sweetness of the fruit and cream cheese.

Ovocný Pohár (oh-votz-nee po-har)
Fruit sundae. This one is very simple but it is superb. They take a glass that might otherwise be used for wine or beer, and fill it with fruit, ice cream and whipped cream (sometimes they'll get fancy shmancy and stick a wafer or something in there). During my stay in Písek I tried one with vanilla ice cream and raspberries. SO GOOD.

Palačinky (pal-uh-ching-kee)
LOVE me some palačinky! Palačinka means "pancake." In central Europe (or perhaps all of Europe... I haven't done enough traveling yet) pancakes are served as desserts. They're not thick honkin' slabs-o-pancake like you get at IHOP (though the sugar content is probably similar); they're very thin and crepe-like. You can create a pretty dank ("awesome," if you aren't hip to the So-Cal lingo) dessert pancake by filling it with any combination of the following: ice cream, hot fudge, fruit, whipped cream, nuts, etc.

Using all of them at once: instant win!

Strůdl (stroo-dul)
Don't you dare come all up in my blog and tell me you've never had strudel.

Dalkove Kolacky (doll-ko-vay ko-lotch-kee)
At least I think that's what they're called. I haven't tried these but I see them everywhere. It's either a sugar or shortbread cookie with some type of fruit jam filling, complete with a little smiling face on the top. This is perfect; I always like to look my food in the eye before I eat it. ("I thought she said she was a vegetarian...") I couldn't find an exact picture of them, but here's the basic idea:

Gee thanks, photographersdirect.com!

Medovník (meh-dov-neek)
Honey cake. It's a light, fluffy cake with layers of cake, honey, cinnamon... some other stuff, depending on the variation. I haven't tried this yet, but there is a slice in my fridge that I imagine will be gone within the next 24 hours (an optimistic estimate).

And the reason I haven't eaten it yet is only because I just consumed...

Marcipán (mar-tsee-pawn)
Okay, so maybe this isn't necessarily a "traditional" Czech dessert. But I got it from a traditional Czech cukrárna (sweet shop), so it counts... right? For those who don't know, marzipan is a sweet almond paste. People sculpt it into all sorts of elaborate shapes... finally,  artwork I can both appreciate and digest! The one I got today was a ball of cake with a layer of marzipan in the middle and marzipan around the outside. It was sinfully sweet. And just look at that face! I almost felt bad eating something so adorable. Almost.

Also featured: slice of medovník and chocolate-covered sticks of marcipán. Yeah, I'm a fatty, wanna fight about it?

FOODZ

All right, kids. Sit your keister down, because it's about time I told you a little something about the glory and the absurdity that is...

...
...
...

Czech food.

That's right. Brace yourself. Because just after READING this blog, you won't be able to eat. For a week.

I'll admit I haven't had the 100% *AUTHENTIC WOWZA* Czech food experience because I've recently taken up vegetarianism, and meat is a main component of Czech cuisine. But I've still had my fair share of the food.

One word: Heavy.

"Italian food is heavy." NO.
"Mexican food is heavy." NO.
CZECH FOOD IS HEAVY.

We're talking meat, fat and starch. Think potatoes. Lots of potatoes. Prague is like the Bubba Gump of potatoes. They got fried potatoes, boiled potatoes, baked potatoes, sauteed potatoes, mashed potatoes, potato soup, potato pancakes...

But before I get ahead of myself, allow me to lead you through the various courses, in order. For starters, ya got what 75% of what Czech dining is about: soup, or "polévka." There's a vast number of polévky to choose from; I'll list some of my favorites, which are also the most popular. Most are eaten with a particular rye or sourdough bread which is fairly common in the Czech Republic.

Cibulačka (see-boo-lotch-kuh)
 This is a typically broth-based onion soup. If this isn't on the menu, then you are not in an authentic Czech restaurant. Get out. Quickly. Run. NOW.

Bramboračka (bram-bo-rotch-kuh)
Cream-based potato soup. It's usually fairly thick.

Houbová Polévka (how-bo-vuh po-lev-kuh)
It might also be called "houbočka," I'm not sure. But this is mushroom soup: another thick, cream-based soup. It tastes REALLY good with bread.

Hovězí Vývar (ho-vyeh-zee vee-var)
Literally, beef broth. Haven't tried it, but it's a very common soup you're bound to find in most Czech restaurants.

Česnečka (chess-netch-kuh)
Garlic soup. Delicious, and great for hangovers!

So order any one of these bad boys as a starter. Word of caution: cream-based soups may be amazing, but they're really filling. And if you're following through with your 3-course Czech meal, then you'll want plenty of room for the main course. Here are a few of the most popular:

Svíčková
So what we've got here is a very traditional main course. It consists of beef ("hovězí") and dumplings ("knedlíky") all swimming in a rich, creamy beef sauce. Most typical Czech food fits within this framework: dumplings with meat simmering in a creamy sauce-version of itself. For those who don't know, dumplings are thick, floury... discs... usually made of bread or potatoes. They're really good if you eat them with some kind of sauce ("omáčka"), which is more or less their purpose in the first place. Since they're also completely starch, they fill you up. Fast.

Pečené Vepřové s Knedlíky (peh-cheh-nay vep-shro-vay s kned-lee-kee)
 Same thing. But with pork, and usually some sort of vegetable prepared in the least healthy (and thus most delicious) manner possible-- spinach, saurkraut, etc.

Guláš (goo-losh... gee, why does this sound familiar?)
...Yes, it's goulash. Goulash is a stew made of beef and vegetables. If you're looking for some down-home Communist era cuisine, this is it.

Šopský Salát (shop-skee suh-lat)
Otherwise known as "šopák." Okay, this is more like a traditional salad than an actual meal, but I get it a lot because it is duh-ricious. It's simply peppers, tomatoes and cucumbers with feta cheese and olive oil.

Bramboráčky (bram-bo-rotch-kee)
Potato pancakes. I grabbed one of these bad boys at the nearby deli/bakery once when I had a break between classes. I won't lie, the Jew in me loves them. They're pretty much latkes, although the one I tried was a lot bigger and had some other stuff mixed in there. But for the most part, they're what you expect a potato pancake to be. I imagine when you're not stuffing one down your throat while dodging traffic to get to class on time, they taste good with sour cream or applesauce.

Smažený Sýr (smaj-nee seer)
DRUM ROLL PLEASE. Okay, so we're all familiar with cheese sticks, right? Smažený sýr is a cheese BRICK. It's literally a block of fried cheese, served with a side of potatoes and tartar sauce, sometimes cranberries. All this thing needs is a scoop of ice cream on top to become to most caloric meal ever invented. Needless to say, it is not for the faint of heart (or the clogged of arteries).

I should say that I only give smažený sýr such a hard time because I love it. It is a stupidly delicious meal that I've had more than a few times so far.

...Cheese. JUST CHEESE. As a main course. I still can't get over it. It's the most delicious way to simulate the feeling that you've swallowed a bowling ball.

And all of these wonderful meals are usually accompanied with beer. So-- beer, soup, bread, meat, potatoes. That's your traditional meal. Czech food is something delicious... but should only be consumed in sparse intervals.

TUNE IN NEXT BLOG when I talk about desserts!

Víkend in Písek

I can't believe it's Thursday and I still haven't made a post gushing about my incredible weekend. So pull on your rain ponchos, kids-- it's gushing time!

Our FS program took a weekend trip to Písek, a relatively quiet, less-urban town a couple hours out of Prague. We took a small bus there early Friday morning.

What's in Písek, you ask? Well, we were asking ourselves the same thing upon our arrival. Písek is a very calm, quiet and peaceful place. I suppose after a month of living in the erratic heartbeat of Prague which is Nové Město, we were all homesick for the hustle and bustle of urban chaos.

Gotta love this view from our apartment.

But once we (or I) adjusted to the tempo of Písek, I can't imagine a better way to have spent my weekend.

We were there primarily for the International Student Film Fesstival. Short films were screened inside this massive theatre in blocks of about an hour and a half. I'd say the highlight of the festival was the diversity. There were submissions from the Czech Republic, Germany, Spain, Jerusalem-- the list goes on. Naturally, subtitles and little translator headphones were imperative to the experience. And the films themselves were all very different as well... they ranged in length from 7 minutes to a half hour, and covered all sorts of genres. War dramas, Sci Fi, avante garde, stop motion, computer animation... there was even a (ridiculous) documentary about Facebook trying to manipulate mankind into bending to the will of Mark Zuckerberg.

A regular Napoleon Bonaparte right here.

Although I must say, at least in my opinion, the film festival was secondary to the mere experience of being in another Czech town. In the evenings we went to music concerts hosted by the film festival, so all/most of the performers were local student bands. Never in my years did I think I would be bopping around to Czech ska-reggae music. But I did, and it was great.

I also spent one rainy afternoon just walking around the town. It has a very simple beauty and charm to it. For instance, I walked around on this little island/park that had a teeny (and seemingly vacant) miniature golf course on it. Later on as I was walking along the river I spied a little wooden boat docked along the bank, so I sat in it for a little while and... enjoyed sitting in a little wooden boat docked along the bank.

Why, hello!

Boat = successfully commandeered.

Also sat along the edge of the river... wheeeeee

View from the oldest bridge in Prague, whatevs.

Mini-golf, anyone?

I also found a strange little courtyard that had several inconspicuous tunnels and old stone stairways running through it. Needless to say, I kind of felt like a princess frollicking around her castle. I'm always up for a good frollick.

Speaking of which, that's more or less what we spent all of Sunday doing. The program planned a "three to four hour" hike in the mountains a little ways out of the town. We drove up to the mountains and hiked at a fairly consistent upward incline to reach a really cool, extremely ancient castle. It was FREEZING. But as a bum from California who doesn't see snow more than perhaps once or twice a year, I geeked out when I saw this:

First snow sighting! Shhh... don't scare it off.

Despite the cold, it was an epic hike that took... considerably longer than "three to four hours." Probably closer to six or seven. But we picked mushrooms... which we got to eat later! Why doesn't this exist in America??

...

I am just now receiving word that mushroom hunting DOES exist in America. Then why the heck haven't I done it until now?!

Ivana, our resident mushroom expert, taught us about all the different types of mushrooms: which ones are bitter, which ones are good, which ones will make you die a slow, painful death, et cetera. In a very "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" fashion, the edible mushrooms are brown and boring looking, while the poisonous ones are ostentatious. Consequentially, I only have photos of poisonous mushrooms because they looked the coolest.

Super Mario status.

Although, Ivana found the PERFECT mushroom... it's one of the tastiest but also one of the most difficult to find. And we got a pretty big one. SWEET.

1up!

So... after several hours of hiking and mushroom hunting we finally reached this awesome castle and got a private tour.

Close...

Closer...

Almost there...

Aaaaand sieged!

After that we walked to a very small rural town about twenty minutes away, and ate dessert palačinky (pancakes) with hot chocolate, which tasted like a melted candy bar. A perfect end to the day, and to our whirlwind weekend.

Exhibitions On Exhibit!

Cool stuff happening! First off, last week there was a cool design exhibition that I went to called Designblok. Basically, it's a huge exhibition space for all types of designers to showcase their latest projects. It's a pretty big deal-- and what's cool about it is the sheer diversity of representation. There were big corporations like Nikon and Coca Cola with exhibits, but one room over you'd find jewelry and sculptures made by local artists. In fact, Kristyna (who took us there) was involved with one of the installments, a cool multi-media collaboration involving fashion, music and film.

PHOTOS?!

...Duh.

I. WANT. THIS. LAMP.

The perfect conversation piece for any home.

Made entirely out of stencils of the word "nobody." That's deep, yo.

In general, Prague has a lot of stuff like this. It has a very quirky art culture that largely incorporates multi-media. A couple weeks ago Kristyna (our resident taker-to-cool-places) took us to an awesome photography exhibition called "Controverze," which means "flamingo waffles" in Czech.

...Or "controversy." Whatever.

This has got to be the coolest/only photography exhibit I've ever been to. The theme of the collection was photos that were surrounded by controversy when they were released. Each photo had an incredible story behind it, so the exhibit took about 500 years to get through because you HAD to read every story. The cool part is that at the beginning of the exhibit they gave you these little prong things, and at every photo there was a stack of pages with that photo's story printed on it, and you could put the pages onto the prongs. SO by the end, you wound up with a cool little book of stories about controversial photos. NEAT-O!

Ugh... I'm so full. Alex, who's also in the FS program, has his family visiting Prague, and they made us dinner. Lolwut, like mac n' cheese? Ha... try LEGIT GREEK CUISINE. Good gravy that was delicious.

Amster-darn

Well, exciting stuff in the world of not-America. Friday morning was The Big Pitch, where our groups presented our film ideas to a roomful of faculty and mentors who will work with us this semester. We were given plenty of advanced warning that Czech professors (FAMU professors? European professors? ...In any case, these professors) are often brutal with their criticism. And you know what? That's exactly what we got.

We went up group by group in front of this sea of excruciating judgment, presented our ideas that we have been fine tuning for the past month, and... well, you know that scene from Jurassic park where they lower the cow into the velociraptor exhibit? It was a lot like that.

So for many of us, this week has been dedicated to either drastically changing our stories or scrapping them altogether and doing something different. I'm in the latter boat. We've got a new idea, though-- it's one that all three of our group members likes, and it is far more feasible to write and shoot than our last idea, which was about a mother with Munchausen's who keeps her child sick in order to keep the doctor coming back, because she has a twisted infatuation with him. A little too much to tackle within the parameters of a 7-minute film. Also a little absurd when you sum the plot up like that, and below the image of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

At this juncture, you're probably wondering why the title of this blog is "Amster-darn." Well, you've got three guesses, and the first two don't count. Yes! I went to Amsterdam this weekend. I met up with Casey and her new friend who is also studying abroad in Barcelona.

The short version is: Amsterdam is incredible. It's a vibrant city filled with color, eccentric locals (maybe I just went to the wrong bar.......... or the RIGHT bar), and a system of river canals weaving between the buildings. Amsterdam is like a magical Venice-New Orleans-Disneyland lovechild. Also, they make unfathomably delicious dessert waffles. I may or may not have eaten multiples of them.

Take it all in, baby.

Here's some more pictures of Amsterdam that are like dessert waffles for your eyes. The canals are simply gorgeous.

I am... standing in front of giant letters.

Points of Interest: Van Gogh Museum (you gotta Gogh!!!), Sapharti Park (beautiful park near the hostel where I was staying), Red Light District (duh), Dam Square (parenthetical statement)... I didn't make it to Anne Frank's house, but Casey went and said it was a good, if not sobering, experience.